October is Bullying Prevention Month
We want to see an end to bullying, and we’re guessing you do too. When children are bullied, it can negatively impact their mental health and school performance. But how do you teach kids to stand up against bullying? And what are the signs that a child may be experiencing bullying? You can be out on the lookout for three signs of bullying and teach kids 10 things about bullying.
According to the CDC, nearly 14% of public schools report that bullying is a discipline problem occurring daily or at least once a week. Children who are bullied can experience lasting problems that may interfere with their social and emotional development, and school performance. Here's how can you recognize the signs and offer your child help.
Why Do Kids Bully Other Kids?
First, we need to understand why kids bully other kids. Bullying can happen at various stages of development for children. Younger children may present with aggressive behaviors as they are learning to control their emotions and respond to conflict. Some kids model behavior they have seen in their environment, while others use it as self-defense if they have been a victim of aggressive behavior themselves. Family conflict can also be a contributing factor. It’s important to remember that the child doing the bullying may have been traumatized and needs help as well.
Signs of Bullying
Each child’s response to bullying will be different. For some children, the psychological damage will be minimal while others will experience more significant mental health symptoms. Victims may:
Show signs of depression and anxiety, such as not wanting to go to school, becoming withdrawn, being tearful or unusually emotional.
Experience physical symptoms such as a stomachache.
Display behavioral problems, including emotional outbursts, refusing to follow directions or participate in activities and conflict with family and peers.
How to Combat Bullying
Effective strategies to combat bullying behaviors include teaching social and emotional skills to increase empathy. Strategies include:
Talking with kids about how their behavior impacts others and encouraging kindness.
Encouraging kids to consider other perspectives and building empathy. .
Explaining how children of different backgrounds can experience unfair treatment based on how they look.
Having conversations about feelings, especially related to conflict, and helping kids identify and label the feelings they are experiencing.
Teaching youth self-control also helps students decrease impulsive behaviors and consider consequences for themselves and others.
Students experiencing bullying can discourage bullying attempts by first trying to simply ignore the behavior. Ignoring the bullies’ antics will be less rewarding for the bully, who will be less likely to continue the behavior with someone who ignores them.
Teaching children assertiveness strategies and how to set boundaries on how to tell the bully to stop in a non-emotional manner is another way to disarm them.
Using the buddy system is helpful as well; there is often safety in numbers. Encourage your child to keep a peer around them to stop bullying attempts.
Contact the school staff to come up with a plan together. Many public schools are mandated to have a process to address bullying in their school.
If there is a threat of physical harm, contact the police.
Sometimes, the psychological damage of bullying can last into adulthood affecting career choice, self-esteem, relationships, decision-making skills and overall success. It can also create a cycle in which victims inadvertently become bullies to protect themselves from future incidents of bullying. Sending a clear message about intimidating behaviors helps disrupt this cycle. Providing an open ear, educating youth on the impact of bullying and violent behavior, increasing empathy and teaching skills to combat this behavior will impact the culture of bullying in our society. We all have a role to play.
Bullying can really tear kids down, what are things you can do to protect their mental health?
Cultivating a happiness habit in kids can protect and improve their mental health (and even their physical health). We have seven ways you can teach kids habits that build their happiness.
7 Ways to Cultivate Happiness
We want the kids in our life to be healthy and happy. We know they can’t be happy all of the time, but are there things we can do to help kids be happier? There are!
Research Shows that Happiness Can:
Lower blood pressure.
Build a strengthened immune system.
Reduce pain.
Improve educational outcomes.
Improve sleep.
Increase life-expectancy.
Here Are Seven Ways to Help Kids Cultivate Happiness:
Encourage strong friendships.
Children who have strong social connections are more likely to experience positive emotions. Although friendships aren't always easy, having shared experiences helps to create a sense of belonging and purpose. Work with kids to build the kind of connections that are most meaningful to them.
2. Take time to be kind.
Being kind to others improves our mood. Show the children in your life the power of kindness by doing something for a family member, friend, neighbor or teacher. Have them join in or think of someone they would like to show kindness to. Consider getting the whole family involved in the kindness challenge.
3. Use mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the practice of stopping to think about the present moment instead of thinking about the past or future. Try to stop and appreciate the moment you are in. You can practice during dinner, while taking a walk outside or while reading a good story together.
4. Acknowledge good things.
Gratitude is good for mental health and can keep us from getting caught up in what's not going well. Work with your child to say things you’re grateful for such as a caring family, completing a difficult school assignment, friends or finding a new favorite song.
5. Set goals.
Research shows having purpose and meaning in life help improve our happiness. When we have goals to work toward, we feel motivated to persevere and work toward that goal. Help children set short-, medium- and long-term goals, and then set up steps along the way. The older they are, the more children can think about what they want to accomplish. For younger children, setting a goal for the next 30 minutes and then celebrating when they achieve it will give them an immediate boost of positive emotions.
6. Move your body.
There’s a strong connection between physical and mental health. Exercise helps release certain endorphins in the brain which elevate your mood starting shortly after you finish your exercise. Just 30 minutes of moderate exercise, like a brisk walk, dancing, family bike ride or anything else that gets your heart rate elevated, will produce positive effects.
7. Tell a joke.
Researchers have shown that smiling and laughing communicate to your brain to experience positive emotions. Telling silly jokes, watching a funny family-friendly show or just doing something that makes us smile will help to improve your mood. With older kids, take turns sharing funny memes or video clips.
Teaching kids to consistently engage in these seven activities, will create a pattern for them to follow into adulthood. Happy people create their own happiness!
Happiness Activity
Come on, let’s get happy! Here is an activity you and your family can do to bring a little sunshine into your day.
A Little of Jar of Happiness: All you need for this activity is paper, pen and a jar. Each night at the dinner table, you and your family write down one thing that’s made you happy today. Go around the table and share and then put it in the jar!
What does the Bible say about bullying?
The Bible doesn’t directly address bullying, but biblical principles encourage kindness, love, and treating others well. Christians are commanded to love their neighbors and treat others as they would like to be treated. The Bible's teachings apply to bullying by emphasizing love, service, and standing up for the vulnerable.
Although bullying was not a term used in biblical times, scripture references related topics such as dealing with those who treat you poorly and how to respond. Learn what advice is offered for harassment situations from our list of Bible verses below!
1 John 2:9
Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness.
1 John 3:15
15 Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.
Ephesians 4:29
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Leviticus 19:18
18 “ ‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.
Luke 6:27-28
27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28 Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
Romans 12:18-19
18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Resources
https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/bible-verses-about-bullying/
https://www.kidsmentalhealthfoundation.org/mental-health-resources/bullying/combat-bullying-tips
Mabel Martinez-Almonte,
OTR/L, MA, MHC, NCC
If you or someone you know is in a crisis, get help immediately. You can text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
DISCLAIMER: The content on this blog is generated for entertainment or/and informative purposes, but not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or behavioral health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or a qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition.