A survey conducted by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) found that 64 percent of individuals living with a mental illness reported that their conditions worsened around the holidays.
A variety of sources, such as high expectations, current events, personal grief, loneliness, illnesses of all kinds, economic concerns, and stress can lead to the “Holiday Blues” during the season from Thanksgiving to New Year’s. In most cases symptoms are temporary, but they can be serious if they last for more than two weeks, leading to clinical anxiety and/or depression.
The upcoming holiday season can be a time for celebration and joy; however, it may also be a challenging time for many individuals and families due to stress, sadness, separation from loved ones, grief, and other reasons.
Key points include:
Holiday blues are different from mental illness, but short-term mental health problems must be taken seriously. They can lead to clinical anxiety and depression.
People already living with mental illness are often affected by the holiday blues. Individuals, families and friends should know symptoms and watch out for each other.
There are many ways to avoid or minimize holiday blues.
Alcohol is a depressant. Don’t drink when feeling stressed or down.
Local NAMI affiliates can be a source of support.
It’s a myth that suicides increase during the holidays, but suicide risks are always serious.
Children and teens get the blues too. The highest rate for child psychiatric hospitalizations occurs in winter.
For tips on avoiding holiday blues, see www.nami.org/holidayblues
“Be patient. Keep expectations low. Inform family in advance of your limits,” said one survey respondent.
“If holidays were a special time in the past and you try to recreate a time long gone, you are setting yourself up for sadness,” said another. “Create new memories. Have some fun.”
Enjoy the Holidays:
You Decide How to Celebrate
If you're in the cringe category, psychiatrist and author Dr. Daniel Amen can help ease that burden.
“You get to choose how to spend the holiday season,“ said Dr. Amen. “So many people let themselves go in November and December, and then they suffer through January.”
So, how can you enjoy the festivities in a stress-free, healthy way?
Dr Amen offers the following tips for how you can reduce stress and maintain good mental health as you navigate the weeks leading up to the new year:
Take steps to stay safe. Don’t attend gatherings if you’re sick.
Accept your needs. Be kind to yourself.
Manage your time and don’t try to do too much.
Set boundaries. Family dynamics can be complex. Acknowledge them and accept that you can only control your role.
Exercise. Even if you don’t have much time, at least “walk like you’re late.” Dr. Amen says that even short bursts of exercise are beneficial.
Practice relaxation. Deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation are good ways to calm yourself.
Set aside time for yourself and prioritize self-care. Schedule time for activities that make you feel good. It might be reading a book, going to the movies, getting a massage, listening to music you love, or taking your dog for a walk.
Eat well. With dinners, parties, and cookie trays at every turn, the founder of the Amen Clinics says try to maintain a healthy diet through it all, opt for brain healthy foods and say no to sugar. Eating unprocessed foods, like whole grains, vegetables, and fresh fruit is the foundation for a healthy body and mind.
Get enough sleep. Go to bed at the same time every night.
Establish a budget. Don’t go over the amount you set. Say no to impulse buying.
Volunteer. “Do what you can through your church, through your work, through your community. Be helpful, and in that way, you’ll be less lonely, you’ll be more purposeful.” And, Dr Amen added, “that will help your brain.”
An Open Letter at Christmas
(David Murray, PhD, is the senior pastor of First Byron Christian Reformed Church in Byron Center, Michigan.)
Dear Friend,
Depression is tough at the best of times. Perhaps it’s the best of times, such as holiday times, when it’s especially tough. The thought of mixing with happy people fills you with dread. The thought of remembering lost loved ones fills you with gloom. How can people be so happy when you are so sad? How can people celebrate when you are in mourning? It jars your soul and scrapes your tender wounds, doesn’t it?
You may want to run away and hide from the noisy busyness and the social obligations. Or you may want to lash out at the insensitive and uncaring people who exhort you to “Cheer up!” Or maybe you just want to drown your sorrows with binge drinking, binge eating, or binge TV-watching. But none of these options—running out, lashing out, or pigging out—will improve your depression. Indeed, they will only make it worse.
Let me propose a better way that will enable you to carefully navigate this holiday season while also contributing to your long-term healing.
Pray
I know prayer is perhaps too obvious, but sometimes we miss the obvious. Bring your burden to the Lord, tell him your fears and dreads, and seek his help to push through these daunting days. Lament by saying “Lord, I don’t want to give thanks, I don’t want to celebrate Christmas, and I don’t want to live through another year.” Admit, saying: “God, I can’t stand happiness right now and I can’t abide people.” Confess: “This is wrong and sinful, but I can’t seem to change.” Plead: “Lord, I am weak, I need your power, I need your patience, I need your joy.” Promise: “I will rely on you alone to carry me and even use this time for my help and healing.”
Share
Not everyone among your family and friends understands depression; but some do, as you know. Give them a call, or, better, meet with them, and talk to them about what you dread during this season. Ask them to pray for you and to support you in the coming days. Ask them to stay by your side in social settings, to protect you from those who don’t understand, to accept your silences, and to help you withdraw quietly when you have reached your limits of socializing.
Plan
While it’s not wise to totally withdraw from social life during the holidays, neither is it wise to force yourself to go to every social gathering. Total withdrawal will only depress you further; but so will total immersion. You just don’t have the emotional and mental fuel for it. So, plan ahead and choose wisely which social occasions you will go to and how long to spend there. Perhaps try to avoid going to too many gatherings on consecutive days or evenings. You need downtime to be quiet and to refuel. Perhaps you can plan to attend a gathering but not stay from the beginning to the end. That’s more inviting in prospect and more beneficial in retrospect. The aim is to pace yourself and make sure you are getting sufficient time to rebuild your energy levels.
Routine
Regular routine is vital for those with depression. Your body, mind, and soul flourish when you are following a predictable pattern of sleeping, eating, working, and relaxing. All this is threatened by the irregularity and unpredictability of the holidays. You will have to accept a degree of change in this area in these weeks, yet still fight to maintain as much regularity as you can. You don’t want to waste all your good work in this area.
Preach to Yourself
You have an internal narrative, the story that you are telling yourself. You’ve done a great job of rewriting that story over the past few months. The dark chapters that were so full of what you lost with these painful family bereavements have now given way to many bright paragraphs of how much your loved one has gained in heaven and of your hope of eventual and eternal reunion. You’ve also managed by God’s grace to expand that part of the story which focuses on how much you still have in your life. Keep writing these chapters in your mind and heart—the longer the better.
Now, you’re going to be tempted in the next few weeks to write a chapter that dwells on the present estrangement with your daughter and how much you miss her at family occasions. While we can’t deny the reality of this, and we continue to pray and work toward reconciliation, can I suggest that you write another chapter in parallel with it? Write a chapter on the way God has reconciled you to his Son through his death on the cross (Eph. 2:14–18; 2 Cor. 5:18–21). Fixing your mind on this greatest estrangement and reconciliation story will help you to balance a bitter experience with the sweetest experience, and will also give you hope in God’s reconciling power. It’s amazing how the gospel can turn the greatest pain into the greatest therapy.
You can also preach to yourself by singing the Gospel to yourself. Remember how much you enjoyed Handel’s “Messiah” last year? Why don’t we go again? Attend your church’s Christmas Eve and Christmas Day services. Sing these Gospel-rich songs and make melody in your heart to the Lord (Eph. 5:19).
Preach to Others
I don’t want to lay a heavy burden on you here, but why not look for and take opportunities to witness to others? The unbelievers in your family will be looking to see how you react to your recent losses and how you are responding to your depression. They will see you are sad and they will ask how you are doing. How about this for an answer: “Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Cor. 6:10). That should startle them! But it will also start some profitable conversations that give you an opportunity to testify to God’s grace to you in these days. Sometimes, ministering to others is the best way to minister to yourself.
Sincerely,
David
Resources
https://www.amenclinics.com/blog/11-ways-to-avoid-a-toxic-or-stressful-holiday-season/
https://www.crossway.org/articles/an-open-letter-to-the-depressed-christian-at-christmas/
https://namica.org/blog/handling-stress-during-the-holiday-season/
Mabel Martinez-Almonte, MA, OTR/L, NCC
If you or someone you know is in a crisis, get help immediately. You can text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
DISCLAIMER: The content on this blog is generated for entertainment or/and informative purposes, but not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or behavioral health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or a qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition.